Well, here I am! It's been quite a while since my last post (since the elec- let's not talk about that), but I've been keeping myself busy with school. Graduation is just around the corner and I'm unsure as to what the future holds, and part of me will always look forward to endless possibilities. Unfortunately, reality has a bit of a bite at times. Don't get me wrong, pessimism is not one of my strong suits, but everyone has moments when they feel clouded and lost, almost cast out to sea wearing nothing but last year's swimsuit. I may be a Pisces and a former competitive swimmer, but I ain't a fish. Leaving college makes me feel as if I have floaties on, or at least should have a pair. I've been in academic institutions since preschool, almost 20 years of education, it's all I and my peers have known.
However, I'm sure that everything will be alright. Yes, there will be challenges, but the next few years will be a transformative experience full of uncertainty. Dickinson, even with its extensive education, can only prepare you so much. Initially I wanted to stay in Carlisle another year working as a post-baccalaureate artist in residence, but part of me knew that it was just to be safe, because I doubted myself. Within my thesis seminar I grew immensely as both a writer and person, cultivating a stronger sense of self-confidence in my voice, but I know that doubt will always be a struggle. But at least I will be better equipped to deal with it. All I can do now is be kind, to myself and others, the former being especially important, and continue to look forward to what the future holds.
On that note, entering into the adult world as a hopefully artist is a tricky situation, but thankfully my education has been, as Dickinson would put it, a "useful liberal arts education" and very "interdisciplinary." Right now I'm just trying to find ways to combine my passions of writing and art with helping others. Social justice, arts advocacy, etc. All are wonderful and worthwhile careers, and maybe those paths will intersect throughout my life. Where those paths lead? Who can say? Philadelphia and D.C. appear to be my next destinations, so I will seek out opportunity there (Aren't I the wayward traveler? "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, both need some serious landscaping."). In any case, we'll see what the future will bring. All we can do now is live out our lives in honesty, kindness, and whatever clichéd, but still valid virtues we humans might possess. Hopefully, there will is still a time and place to make things right. Until then, I feel it best to end this post with a quote from Leonard Bernstein's Candide: "We're neither pure, nor wise, nor good, we'll do the best we know. We'll build our house, and chop our wood, and make our garden grow."
Good luck. Until next time.
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind.
To See With One's Body and Soul
This blog documents all of my adventures, as well as my development into an artist, writer, and a better person.