Hello Everyone! It's been, well, quite a while since my last post (some raving a bout a fabulous show that will tragically be closing next month). My art and writing have been slow over the past few months, and whether or not I blame a poor diet, lack of sleep, or Mercury being in retrograde, nothing was made. Well, not nothing, but I definitely consumed culture more than produced it. I was desperately trying to find some way to use my art as a lens for my life, to reflect my reality, but I recently came into problems with that approach. So, I'm pulling an Oscar Wilde quote from The Picture of Dorian Gray, "We live in an age when men treat art as if it were meant to be a form of autobiography." 

         But what does that mean? Yes, art reflects life and visa versa, and my work has almost always dealt with my sexuality, gender, and an exploration of that personal history by relating to other creators. It is a reality, but it's not just an autobiography. And sure, Wilde's work was somewhat confessional (you gotta love a guilty Catholic), and incriminating (literally, quotes were pulled from The Picture of Dorian Gray as proof of his homosexuality while he was in court), but it played into larger themes of desire, morality, art, and cute boys. I've tried to identify themes in my work, such as atemporality and allegories, but I was missing a crucial component: writing!

          I don't mean writing as in my blogging and what other ramblings pass through my mind and tap dance their way across my keyboard, but rather, poetry. I haven't composed poetry by any means since my sophomore year of college (shoutout to the Belles Lettres society for weekly prompts and Caf dinners), but as of this November that has changed! Like Tennyson, Wilde, Dickinson, Plath, and Angelou I have taken up the pen to put my thoughts and dreams on paper. Of course, I have a long way to go, and by no means plan to make a life for myself as a great poet (that takes training I do not possess), but there is a strong relationship between my visual art and my literary/creative writing. My senior year was spent on two senior seminars for English and Studio Art, and almost everything I read and wrote influenced my studio practice. Both theses were explorations of queer lineage, and art was a way of illustrating my literary studies.

          The challenge now is, what do I write about? For a while I struggled to think of some poignant subject matter with which to craft my poetry, something that would elicit visceral responses from an audience. However, that's not why I started writing. I want it to be a means of self-reflection, but also an exploration of mythologies and queer lineages, and of fantasies. I'm not writing to learn to think, although that is something I am not yet accomplished in, but rather to dream. Okay, I know that sounds pretentious, but I meant it. My writing should be enjoyable, and while it can explore a myriad of themes and perhaps even some proper thinking. For now I just need to write about whatever comes to mind, for pleasure, for myself, and for art's sake. 

          In ending this post I'd like to turn to my most popular subject matter: mythology. Thankfully, the Greeks, among many other cultures, have given us a vast amount of queer subject matter (an artist, turn to Greek mythology? How original). Narcissus is a popular tale, as portrayed in above painting by Caravaggio, and has a long history with queer creators (Wilde was  portrayed as a vain Narcissus in political cartoons of the time), thus I focused on the tragic youth and his relationships for one of my first poems, Ameinias Echo, the title of which is borrowed from the names of two figures associated with the youth's tale. Echo was a nymph who pined for Narcissus, but could not talk with him due to a curse placed upon her by Hera. Ameinias was a former lover of Narcissus, whose cruelty cause him to commit suicide (which is sometimes seen as a cause of Narcissus's punishment). 

          Here are a couple of stanzas from Ameinias Echo: 

I sometimes wonder how long I’ve been here
underneath this canopy of silver shadows,
tucked away in some blessed, forbidden corner
of the world, but then I see you
gazing upon me as we admire each other
in our most resplendent ways.

I am so glad you came to see me.

How on earth could I compare you
to a spring morning or the wild dance
of the leaves in the afternoon breeze
kissed by Zephyr as I would kiss you
now? You are the world’s greatest creation.

You’re the only one right for me.

Until next time!

- Noah
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind. 

Hello Everyone! 

          It's been, well, quite a long time since I've been active on the blog. Nowadays I feel as if that is how I start off every one of my posts. Unfortunately I have been going through a bit of  a pre-quarter life crisis (and I CANNOT wait for the next crisis in two years, or months, depends on how life goes), rethinking my career and artistic paths. However, not all is lost! Like the tides, I am constantly changing, and now that my latest temper tantrum is over I have embarked on what hopefully will be the next great step of my journey.

          BUT NOAH!!! HOW WILL YOU DO THAT??? YOU HAVE A MELTDOWN ALMOST EVERY OTHER DAY!!

        Well I'm glad you asked, voice in my head! One of my mentors, a fellow artist who currently resides in the Hudson Valley, told me to focus on "the rules" aka the principle characteristics and themes of a person's body of work. For example, when people think of Caravaggio, his name usually brings to mind soft but full figures, strong contrast of light and shadow (chiaroscuro for ya artsy folks), and strong religious scenes (he also painted some mighty fine men, but that's beside the point, for now). My mentor told me to identify the rules of each artist that  draw inspiration from, and that list can be found here, and in doing so I will be able to more effectively define the rules of my own work. 
          Now that there are some rules in place (that will eventually be broken), I should have an easier time pursuing new projects and revitalizing old ones. Right now I'm drawing from a local crowd, and will hopefully find a few regular models for projects and collaborations (so if you know of anyone in the Philadelphia area, please let me know!). I've also joined the Center for Emerging Visual Artists as an Artist Member! They're a great organization that provides career guidance and support for emerging artists, as well as exhibition and teaching opportunities. I have not had any shows since my senior exhibition (and part of my time has been spent telling myself that it's okay, seeing as I have been focusing on my financial situation). As a dear friend and mentor of mine once said, "You've spent your time finding a way to survive, now you need to find your voice." 
          Thus, as a reminder, it's perfectly okay to take time for yourself, even if that means focusing on you financial situation. People will say "you need to accept that you're going to be poor for a long time if you want to make art," and while it is not always a lucrative career, or a quick track to success, it's okay to take that break from art. Some artists put down the brush, pen, camera, for years while they focused on working and getting themselves to a point where they feel stable. AND THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE. There is only one path to success that remains constant (and no, as much as I would love to say it's your own) and that is nepotism. Everyone else has to forge their own path, but even then we're not alone. As long as we are putting our work out there and making connections, someone will eventually notice. And that's all it takes. That one person will change your life for the better. So chin up. 

- Noah 
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind. 

          

          It has been some time since I last posted, but (in good news) so much has happened! I've been working at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, which gave me some time and resources (aka wages after bills and food, a queen's gotta eat!) to focus on my studio practice. Now that I have a creative space set up in my apartment I have been able to connect with other artists and begin work on some collaborations! I met Sam almost a month ago, and I must say he impressed me right from the start. He's mostly a self taught photographer, and he run his own fashion line called "Tag Times." 
          Sam's devotion to his craft, as well as his willingness to learn, has inspired me to work harder, and not make excuses for why I'm not creating photographs. As my studio practice grows and evolves I hope to have more opportunities to work with artists like Sam, and expand my social and artistic circles. Now, more than ever, is the time for artists to come together, for our collective experiences and visions weave a tapestry that will tell stories to future generations. In the mean time, we'll see what happens, so keep an eye out for more portraits and projects!

- Noah 
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind. 

          It's been a while since my last post (as is the case these days with many of my posts), but everything is going well! I have been living in Philadelphia for the past two months, and while there have been some struggles, I'm doing alright. My photography, on the other hand, has been a little lacking. For the longest time I couldn't bring myself to take a photograph, and when I did, I felt lost, useless. Part of it had to do with an arts position I was rejected from, and since my graduation I have been questioning my art and whether or not my life up until this point has been a complete waste. 
          However, there is a brighter end to this story. I was recently hired by the Philadelphia Museum of Art as a Visitor Services Assistant! It is a wonderful opportunity to be surrounded by important works, as well as learn the inner machinations of the museum. There are other artists who work at the PMA as well, and I have begun to feel a sort of kinship with my colleagues, so this is the right place for me to be. Hopefully in time I will be able to prove myself to the museum as well as my fellow artists, and make this City of Brotherly Love my new studio. 
          Now, you may be asking yourself at this point, what does this have to do with the pictures above? Didn't I say that I hadn't created any works since graduation? Well, yes, until recently. I was trying to get back into the gear of photography, working it over and over like a group of muscles. That is when I realized I had to go back to the basics. The first digital assignment I had in my photography course was "abstraction," bending the world around me using nothing but my lens as a way to crop and turn my surroundings. In a way, they are puzzle pieces that will never fit together, but when spread out, you start to notice the similarities. Thus I ventured out into the only place I was familiar with: my neighborhood. It's a small start, but these photographs are a step in the right direction. 
          I haven't really taken any photographs since the ones above, but I'm well on my way to working my photographic muscles (if you can call them that) and getting back into shape. I recently received my grandfather's old Polaroid cameras, which still work, much to my absolute joy, so that is another project for me to work on. Now all that's left to do is feel the rhythm of life and go about my days learning what I can and doing my best.

Until Next Time!

- Noah 
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind.  

          If most digital photographs represent 1/60-1/100 of a second in a person's life, then pinhole photography consumes the most time. Over the course of the spring semester I have conducted an independent study of alternative photography, exploring processes such as Polaroids, cyanotypes, and pinhole cameras. The self-portrait above is one of the first images I made in the study, and it is one of my most successful photographs from that experimentation. There are a variety of other subjects as well, such as buildings, abstractions, and a few somewhat successful attempts at overnight exposures. I also lent the camera to a few of my friends, and with minimal instruction they were able to create images.
          Overall I would say letting go of my control over the camera was the biggest challenge, but in the end it taught me a lesson in patience. Part of that lesson involved realizing that I do not need to spend every second guarding the camera (which is somewhat anxiety-inducing). As I sequestered myself in Goodyear for a large portion of the semester while I worked on both of my theses I had the opportunity to be in close proximity to my camera but not have it on my mind at all times. That is where the mobile app Pinhole Assist became quite useful. Not only does it tell you what exposure time you need based on aperture, ISO, and the sensitivity of the paper, but it also acts as a timer for the exposure, allowing one to go about their other assignments, chores, etc. until the photograph has been fully exposed. 
         The independent study was also a good chance to reestablish a darkroom practice, which acts as a closed off creative spaced that has been sometimes likened to a womb (I'm unsure as to how I feel about that, but let's roll with it for now). While this means my practice at Dickinson is coming to a close I am fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to explore a variety of photographic processes. I've moved beyond my college career, so I'll be somewhat lacking in terms of a studio space, and while that may mean mediums such as pinhole and analog photography will be a bit more difficult to come by, but I can still take photographs every day. Art is a lifelong career and I don't plan to stop any time soon.

You can see more of my photography from the independent series here.

Until next time!

- Noah 
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind. 

          Well, here I am! It's been quite a while since my last post (since the elec- let's not talk about that), but I've been keeping myself busy with school. Graduation is just around the corner and I'm unsure as to what the future holds, and part of me will always look forward to endless possibilities. Unfortunately, reality has a bit of a bite at times. Don't get me wrong, pessimism is not one of my strong suits, but everyone has moments when they feel clouded and lost, almost cast out to sea wearing nothing but last year's swimsuit. I may be a Pisces and a former competitive swimmer, but I ain't a fish. Leaving college makes me feel as if I have floaties on, or at least should have a pair. I've been in academic institutions since preschool, almost 20 years of education, it's all I and my peers have known. 
          However, I'm sure that everything will be alright. Yes, there will be challenges, but the next few years will be a transformative experience full of uncertainty. Dickinson, even with its extensive education, can only prepare you so much. Initially I wanted to stay in Carlisle another year working as a post-baccalaureate artist in residence, but part of me knew that it was just to be safe, because I doubted myself. Within my thesis seminar I grew immensely as both a writer and person, cultivating a stronger sense of self-confidence in my voice, but I know that doubt will always be a struggle. But at least I will be better equipped to deal with it. All I can do now is be kind, to myself and others, the former being especially important, and continue to look forward to what the future holds. 
          On that note, entering into the adult world as a hopefully artist is a tricky situation, but thankfully my education has been, as Dickinson would put it, a "useful liberal arts education" and very "interdisciplinary." Right now I'm just trying to find ways to combine my passions of writing and art with helping others. Social justice, arts advocacy, etc. All are wonderful and worthwhile careers, and maybe those paths will intersect throughout my life. Where those paths lead? Who can say? Philadelphia and D.C. appear to be my next destinations, so I will seek out opportunity there (Aren't I the wayward traveler? "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, both need some serious landscaping."). In any case, we'll see what the future will bring. All we can do now is live out our lives in honesty, kindness, and whatever clichéd, but still valid virtues we humans might possess. Hopefully, there will is still a time and place to make things right. Until then, I feel it best to end this post with a quote from Leonard Bernstein's Candide: "We're neither pure, nor wise, nor good, we'll do the best we know. We'll build our house, and chop our wood, and make our garden grow."

Good luck. Until next time. 

 - Noah 
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind. 

          If those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it then the United States is in a slew of problems. However, one that has remained untouched by much of the mainstream media is the reemergence of an AIDS epidemic, due to the legislation of conservative lawmakers and politicians. For those of you who are unfamiliar with 80s Reaganite America and the devastating effect it had on LGBTQIA+ people (aside from Reagan tripling the national deficit), allow me to illuminate a troubled past that is seldom taught or mentioned. In 1981 a study was published focusing on five gay men with a rare lung disease, this would quickly become known as "gay cancer" before receiving its official term: AIDS. 
          Four years after the first case of AIDS, Reagan used the term publicly for the first time, but it was four years too late. He called it a "top priority," but for the past four years he had been joking about it, laughing and dismissing the issue as Americans were dying, and most of them were LGBTQIA+ people of color. Hollywood star Rock Hudson came to Ronald and Nancy Reagan for help, but they dismissed him, and when reporters started to inquire about his health they pretended it was nothing more than the flu or pneumonia. That same year Elizabeth Taylor became chairman of the American Foundation for AIDS Research and would later go on to create underground circles to distribute AZT (which had not been approved by the FDA for public use) to people with HIV/AIDS. 
          In 1987 Reagan made his first speech about AIDS, but it was six years too late at that point. Panic and stigma had already become a fast-acting poison among the American people, leading to mistreatment and violence against people with HIV/AIDS and the people who cared for them (Joseph A. Sonnabend was a doctor who was threatened with eviction from his apartment for treating patients with AIDS. This lead to the first AIDS-discrimination lawsuit in 1983). By the end of the 1980s 100,000 people had died of AIDS-related illness, and by 1999 it was labeled the fourth biggest killer worldwide, with almost 30 million people living with HIV and an estimated 16,000 new cases each day. We have come a ways since then, with improved treatment and medicines such as pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), but unfortunately there is a movement by the Republican presidential candidate to undo decades of work. 
          Donald Trump and Mike Pence have led a terrifying campaign that I can really only describe as the Swiss Army Knife of bigotry and hatred (racism, sexism, anti-LGBTQIA+, classism, islamophobia, xenophobia, etc.), but one point left out by many mainstream sources of journalism (excluding sources like OUT Magazine, The Advocate, and Pride) is how Mike Pence is already creating an AIDS epidemic in Indiana that is spreading across the south and midwest. Trump wants to appoint justices who bear resemblance to Scalia in their politics, but Pence wants to take funding for HIV research and put it towards conversion therapy. Yes, that includes shock therapy and ultimately leads to anxiety, depression, trauma, and ultimately suicide for most LGBTQIA+ people who are forced to enter conversion therapy, most of them being minors. 
          If these men reach the presidency (and in the event Pence somehow becomes the president) then it spells certain doom for many LGBTQIA+ people in the United States, especially Black and Latinx people within the LGBTQIA+ community. With HIV research funding cut who knows what else will happen, besides a lack of distribution of HIV/AIDS medication, hospitals, apartments, hotels, restaurants, and stores refusing service and/or accommodation. We will enter back into a Reaganite era where not only LGBTQIA+ people, but anyone with HIV/AIDS will be presented with harsh stigma and discrimination, and ultimately death for many. Men who have sex with men are currently banned from donating blood despite the fact that every donor is screened for diseases, and that puts a huge damper on the amount of blood that could be life-saving, and the law was only temporarily repealed so that queer men could donate blood for the victims of the Orlando shooting in the summer of 2015, so imagine what would happen with this type of legislation in place. Thus I ask you to engage in dialogue about these issues, question as much as you can, and help educate others, just like Gran Fury and ACT UP (the artist/activist groups which created the posters featured above). Silence on these issues is a form of violence, so speak up, and help others whose voices cannot be heard, for there is a chance they may be silenced forever. Please do not take this as fear mongering, I am simply pointing out the similarities in anti-LGBTQIA+ politics in multiple decades. We all have something to learn from history. 

If you want to learn more about HIV/AIDS you can go to www.aids.gov or look at their timeline documenting the history of HIV/AIDS.  

- Noah 
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind. 

          It has been a few months since I started my senior year, and the studio process is well underway. Questions of queer literary and artistic scholarship are constantly present, and I'm starting to doubt myself in some ways. Part of this lies in defining for myself what "queer art" is, and whether or not I can claim it. Is my identity enough to make it queer art, or does my subject matter have to explicitly state it (and in that turn isn't any subject matter I portray under the influence of my own identity)? John Dugdale and Robert Mapplethorpe are two of the primary artists I am looking at this year, in addition to artists like Duane Michals, Diane Arbus, Nan Goldin, Paul Cadmus, Charles Demuth, and Julia Margaret Cameron (who to my knowledge isn't queer but she is one of the most important and prolific artists in the history of photography), and the situation of queer men in the 80s and 90s, particularly concerning HIV and AIDS.
          Dugdale and Mapplethorpe were both diagnosed with HIV, which later developed into AIDS, like many other queer men in those decades. Their art reflects on that, and Dugdale almost lost his sight due to AIDS-related complications, which would have ended his career. Their struggles are still faced by people today, and while the prevention and treatment methods are better it is still an issue swept under the rug. I don't have HIV or AIDS, so can I use them as my inspiration? Some of the most prevalent queer artists from the 80s and 90s had/have HIV/AIDS so is that something that bars my generation from emulating them and their work? Should this art be left to people with those same infections? After all it is an experience and legacy they have a right to own. Both Dugdale and Mapplethorpe are important figures in queer photography, so they're incredibly important to my process (especially since I'm working in working in cyanotype). Perhaps my duty then as an artist is to preserve their legacy for others, almost like reporting, especially given the lack of attention paid to queer artists in the high art circles. It's showing that my art and that of others in my generation recognize those who came before us and will do our best to ensure that queer art and history is not buried and forgotten. It is a part of the "queer zeitgeist," adding to the community and its story which transcends time and culture.

          Last week I arrived in Hawai'i to begin a photographic adventure, doing my best to not be an obnoxious visitor. Fortunately my schedule is full of events and programs to avoid the typical tourist path. On Thursday my parents and I went on a tour of the Honolulu Fish Auction with one of our friends from N.O.A.A. (The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) to learn about the fishing industry in the islands. Due to the effects of colonialism and mass market demands affecting Hawai'i I was worried about how it had an effect not only on the local population but also on the ecosystem. Fortunately thanks to organizations like N.O.A.A. fish crews are able to catch the deep sea supply needed for local restaurants and markets.
          Upon hearing the word "auction" I was somewhat surprised, having always associated the term with luxury goods and works of art, but it proved to be a quick paced and calm means of selling fish. The most common catch of the day (as it is for many days) was Ahi Tuna, ranging between 140 and 250 pounds on average along with some Moonfish and other creatures. Buyers shuffled from row to row while the auctioneer rattled off prices increasing by 10 cents each millisecond.     This continued on until all the fish had been purchased. Our tour guide mentioned that the most expensive fish was a 489 pound bluefin tuna which sold to a Japanese buyer for 1.8 million dollars. While the Honolulu Fish Auction has never reached that price, visitors will still pay very high prices for their fish. The philosophy of the fish market is quite similar to buying diamonds: size, quality, color, and cut. Core samples are taken from each specimen to look at how the fish has started to age (as it will start to decrease in value and quality as soon as it is brought out of the water), and cuts are made in the tail too look at the amount of fatty acids omega 3s, indicating the nutrition level of the fish. So while size can matter when it comes to the price of the fish, it is not as much of a concern as the quality.
          As the Honolulu Fish Auction provides much of the fish (in particular Ahi Tuna) for not only the islands but the U.S. there is much concern for how this affects the local ecosystem, especially for animals such as sharks, sea turtles, and Hawaiian monk seals (which are only found on Hawai'i). To ensure that humans make as little negative impact as possible (along with making sure that all the boats have the propers licenses and certifications/trainings), N.O.A.A. regulates the fishing season by sending one representative out with each fleet of boats for the weeks or months necessary to haul in the catch. The representative will collect data on the catches as well as the interactions the boat has with sea turtles. If the interaction rate reaches a certain level then the ships have to return to harbor and fishing is shut down for the entire season. Fortunately that hasn't happened for some time, but that hasn't stopped the problems with the industry. While trying to be environmentally conscious and ensure that the reefs and natural heritage sites have enough room, organizations are cutting away from the room local fishermen have to work in, threatening not only their way of life but one of Hawai'i's primary industries. This would lead to further problems with fishing in international waters as well as being forced to take less sustainable and environmentally-damaging measurers.
          Throughout the rest of my stay on Oahu I am trying to be highly conscious of the results of colonialism and the forced tourist industry, I am glad that Hawai'i is managing to preserve some of its traditions, even if it isn't in the most desirable circumstances. Indigenous populations are able to continue fishing and taking what they need from nature without damaging it, and it is a relief to see that the demands of the rest of the U.S. are being handled as well as possible. (On that note ATTENTION FELLOW PEOPLE FROM THE MAINLAND. Please take the time to recognize the effects and consequences of colonialism on not only Hawai'i but also other island nations that are typically seen as hot tourist spots. We shouldn't be traveling to these locations to be waited on hand and foot, we should be traveling to experience different cultures.) This is primarily why I prefer the term traveler to tourist. Tourist implies an expected level of comfort and privilege due to the effects of colonialism making nations reliant on the tourist economy, exaggerating the native traditions to pander to and fascinate the white tourist. Traveling (to me) implies a sense of willing to be uncomfortable, to be open to experiences and search for the authentic and engaging when allowed by the native population. With that being said, I'm looking forward to more adventures on Oahu. Until next time!

- Noah
Open your mind, be brave, and be kind.